I Understand
by FujiwaraMaiko
Summary: InuYasha knows that Kagome loves him, but why does he get back together with Kikyo? Kagome's heart is shattered, so who is left to pick up the pieces? Naraku ... but why did he kiss her with out any reason or understanding of his actions? T for suicide.


Kagome lie wide awake. Everyone was asleep for once, even InuYasha who should have been guarding. But, he hardly ever does sleep. Although this would have normally irritate her, her mind was somewhere else. She knew she shouldn't think of him this way, but ...

InuYasha and Kikyo have been seeing each other. Not as enemies, but as close friends. Sort of what her friends back in Tokyo would think about Hojo and herself. Kagome had followed InuYasha last night and as soon as she saw the two of them, she had regretted going. Once glance told her they were more than friends. Much more.

She had felt like a back-up plan to InuYasha: whenever Kikyo resented him, he would try to act the way he did around Kikyo with Kagome.

Now, as she lay curled up in her smoldering sleeping bag she thought,_There mustn't another living soul who feels like the way I do now. My heary aches from InuYasha's betrayal ... but, doesn't everyone feel like this at some point in their lives? I know Sango must feel it when Miroku asks a woman to bear his child. I know she must like him; Miroku might even like Sango! But, it seems that their feelings for each other are entirely different from what I feel. _

_Could there be another person who feels the way I feel? Maybe ... Naraku? _

Kagome played the events of the birth of Naraku and the destruction of Kikyo and InuYasha in her head: Naraku was once originally Onigumo, who's human heart yearned for Kikyo. He had allowed countless demons to feast on his body, giving birth to the demon Naraku. Although, he was a half-demon, technically. Naraku yearned for the Shikon Jewel so he could complete his demonic tranformation. By tricking InuYasha and Kikyo to fight over the Jewel, he had become so close. So close.

But his plan had taken an abrupt turn. Kikyo had died and had asked for the Shikon Jewel to be burned with her body, hoping that it would never manifest itself in this world again.

But Kagome had been dragged into the well. She was born with the Shikon Jewel reincarnated inside of her, bringing it back. She had shot her arrow into the Jewel, allowing pieces of the Jewel to be scattered across the country.

If that hadn't happened, would InuYasha still be at her side? Would Kikyo have been recalled to life through an animated body constructed of bones and graveyard soil? Perhaps. Maybe she wouldn't feel the anguish and regret she feels now.

An image of Naraku entered her mind. The image was the one she saw last night when she saw InuYasha and Kikyo together. Or at least, what she had thought she had seen. She thought she had seen Naraku watching Kikyo. He may not have shown it on his face, but since he still had his human heart ... did he feel betrayed like Kagome did? Highly doubtful, but possible.

Naraku did seem handsome to Kagome. Deadly, but of course he was handsome. Pale skin, dark, silky black hair, strong, tall and muscular ... but it was those eyes. Those terrible, crimson eyes the colour of blood, that Kagome was always startled by.

Was it possible, that if he had been around a human like Kagome during his life, he may not have turned out the way he was? _Kagura and Kanna aren't exactly good company to have around_, she thought.

She knew that Naraku craved the Jewel. Everyone who knew him knew that. But was there another sign? Was there another reason why he had wanted the Jewel? Perhaps Onigumo had wanted the Jewel to become more powerful, and make Kikyo love him.

_Of course, everyone loves Kikyo,_ Kagome thought bitterly, _I'm just a shadow to them. Unimportant, no one cares about me. The only reason InuYasha keeps me along is to find the Shikon Jewel shards._

Kagome crawled out of her sleeping bag and began to walk. InuYasha heard her footsteps and woke up, seeing her angry retreat.

" Hey, Kagome! What do you think you're doing?" InuYasha asked irritably. It was one of the few nights where he could afford some rest.

" I'm going for a walk," she stated simply.

" In the middle of the night? Listen up, you better not be running home t-" InuYasha started.

" I said I'm going for a walk!" Kagome snapped at him.

" You can drop the attitude Kagome! Fine, go then, see if I care," InuYasha mumbled. It was just enough to send Kagome running into the forest with tears running down her face.

_I knew it! I knew he didn't care about me!_ Kagome cried out in her mind.

She ran for what seemed a long time. She had to finally stop because of exertion, the cold wind that cut to her bones, and because she was so tired from crying. She curled up behind a tree and sobbed. Terrible, gut-wrenching sobs; people would think there was a wounded animal in the forest.

**XOXOXOXO**

Naraku had been travelling in the forest for a while now. After seeing InuYasha and Kikyo together, he had wanted to see Kagome. He didn't care for the girl, but in a way, he could understand how she felt.

And besides, now was as good a time as any to get rid of one of the nuissances that stood in the way of total victory.

He had heard InuYasha and Kagome have brief arguement. She had sounded close to tears as she heard his remark that ended the fight. As soon as the girl was out of sight, InuYasha had fallen back asleep, snoring almost as soon as he closed his eyes.

Naraku had taken his time finding the girl. He was confident that neither the monk, the demon slayer, or even InuYasha had sensed him near-by. He was almost upon Kagome - he could see her through the tree leaves. He could hear her sobs.

The girl once so beautiful and confident was sobbing. Terrible sobs that should tear his heart out. The sobs made his heart ache. Maybe she didn't look like Kikyo, but his human heart wanted to console her and have her close to him. But, he knew he could restrain his heart. He had done it so many times before whenever he had seen Kikyo and InuYasha together.

" Kikyo, " Kagome sobbed," Kikyo, I wish you could just die and leave us all alone!" The outburst was quick yet as Naraku heard those words spoken, waves of shock flooded through him.

_There is some darkness in that girls' heart, _Naraku thought, _A darkness similair to Onigumo's hate for InuYasha for stealing Kikyo away. Kagome's hate is a hate for Kikyo who took InuYasha away from her leaving her broken._

**XOXOXOXO**

As soon as Kagome said those words that she had never dares to say, she slapped her hands over her mouth.

" Have I really become that despicable? That I'm wishing for someone's death so I can be happy?" Kagome said aloud, unaware that her enemy could hear every word she spoke.

She felt completley and utterly alone in the world. She felt like no one could console her: not Sango or Miroku, not any of her friends back in modern-day Tokyo, not Souta, not her grandfather, not even her mother. She wanted to leave, but InuYasha could find her. He would make her work and she would have to see Kikyo and InuYasha together _all the time._

_I can't take it anymore! _She looked around for something sharp. I rock, a pointy treebranch, anything.

She thought that maybe her death would allow InuYasha to realise that it was his fault. That everything was his fault.

_IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!_

**_XOXOXOXO_**

Naraku watched eagerly as he saw Kagome look around frantically. Perhaps she was worried that Kikyo had heard her. Kikyo was often wherever InuYasha was, supposedley following Naraku.

Which was of course, not true.

Kagome had spotted a sharp, irregular rock. She grabbed it with a shaking hand, and brought it to her wrist. _She's going to kill herself!_ Naraku thought, _Is it all because of InuYasha?_

Kagome began to speak," InuYasha, you know that I love you. But you decide to stay with Kikyo. It hurts to see you with Kikyo, it hurts so much I can't put it into words. But, I know you don't love me back so what's the point of living? I love you, InuYasha ..."

She took a shaky breathe and as soon as the first drop of blood appeared, the rock was knocked out of her hand. She gasped in surprise.

" Naraku!" she exclaimed. " InuY- ..." she started to call for him but realized that he didn't care about her. His thoughts were all about Kikyo. They were always about Kikyo. Always!

" Why?" Naraku demaned. He held her wrist tightly, making sure that she wouldn't try and grab anything.

" Why, what?" she replied in a voice with no emotion.

" Why did you try to kill yourself?" Naraku nearly yelled at her. She was startled out of her stupour.

" Why do you care Naraku?" she nearly screeched. " What does it matter? I'm not important! No one cares! I'm just a Jewel detector! Just let me die! I'll be hap-" she had started to cry again and sank to her knees. Her eyes closed, with tears falling mercilessly down her cheeks. She couldn't continue yelling anymore. She didn't want to yell. She wanted to be at peace ...

Naraku could hardly bare to see her like this. Even if she was an enemy, what had driven her to this? _InuYasha, you fool ... can you not see how much this girl loves you? I'll call this a moment of weaknes. Then, we can pretend that this never happened. We can go back to being enemies. I'll kill you, Kikyo. Because of you, you've caused everyone such anguish. Just as Kagome said, she should be dead. And she should stay that way._

" A moment of weakness," Naraku chuckled silently to himself. Kagome peered up at him.

_He's ... laughing?_

Kagome stood up, looking Naraku right in the eye. Her thoughts from earlier crept back into her head: _But was there another sign? Was there another reason why he had wanted the Jewel? _

_Does she know what I'm about to do? Well, my moment of weakness is now. I'll cast of this human heart tommorow. It'll disapear and I won't need to deal with this again._

As quick as the strike of a snake, Naraku rammed his lips onto Kagome's awaiting ones. She gasped in protest but didn't pull away. She liked it. She _liked _it!

Minutes, hours, maybe even _days _could have passed, and Kagome wouldn't have known. She was wrapped up in a blanket of emotions ... hatred, curiousity, love, angst, confusion, lust.

Then, cold night air hit her face. He was gone. Naraku had left her!

Kagome began to walk stiffly back to camp. Her thoughts were all about the kiss, about Naraku, about why he had stopped her from killing herself.

_This makes no sense! Why, why oh why did Naraku of all people, kiss me? An enemy! A person who could destroy him! It makes no sense!_

But maybe that's how it made sense: they were both betrayed by the people they love. Those two had gotten together, so they had spent a small amount of time together. Nothing had happened. But it did confirm Kagome's thoughts of Naraku.

He was capable of love. And with love will come war. A war over the Shikon Jewel? Perhaps. And, maybe Naraku was fighting for something he didn't know he was even fighting for.

He had given Kagome a reason to live. She did not love Naraku. Naraku did not love her. But, in a way, they had a bond that seemed to be inseperable.

A bond of understanding.

**Well? Review please! I just got the idea and didn't spend too long on this. Sorry if it was a bit jumbled, but comment with your thoughts so next time I do a one-shot, I'll know what to do and what not to do.**


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